From a broadsheet printed in 1664 on tea (spelling revised to modern standard as best I can)
The Peculiar Virtues are these:
It maketh the Body active and lusty, strengthening the Muscles and Sinews
It helpeth the Headache, Giddings and Heavings thereof
It removeth the Obstructions of the Spleen
Its very good against the Stone and Gravel, cleansing the Kidneys and Ureteries
It taketh away the difficulty of breathing, opening Obstructions
Its good against Lipitude, Distillations, and cleareth the Sight
It removeth Lassitude, and cleanseth and purifieth adult Humors, and Hot Liver
Its good against Crudities
It stregtheneth the weakness of the Ventricle or Stomach, and causeth a good Appetite and Digestion
It vanquisheth heavy Dreams, easeth the Brain, stregtheneth the Memory
It overcometh superfluous Sleep, and prevents Sleepiness in general, a draught of the Infusion being taken, so that without trouble Whole Nights may be spent in study, without hurt to the Body, in that it moderately heateth and bindeth the mouth of the Stomach.
It prevents Agues, Surfets, and Fevers, by infusing a fit quantity of the Leaf, thereby provoking a most gentle Vomit, and breathing of the Pores
It assuiageth the Pains of the Bowels
It cureth the Colds, Dropsies, and Scurvys, by a proper Infusion, purging the Blood by Sweat and Urine, and expellenth Infections
It purgeth safely the Gall
Now all we need is
It cureth the Cancer
And we’re good for an ad for the newest Snapple Peach flavoured iced white tea.
3 responses so far ↓
Anonymous // August 8, 2009 at 9:49 am |
I don’t think they identified cancer back-th in the day-th.
At least it didn’t raise the dead and cure HIV like modern ones claim.
I think some of the things on the list might not bee so far fetched though.
It maketh the Body active and lusty, strengthening the Muscles and Sinews
It makes me perky
It helpeth the Headache, Giddings and Heavings thereof
I get headaches if I don’t drink tea
Its very good against the Stone and Gravel, cleansing the Kidneys and Ureteries
Drinking lots of tea makes you pee
It taketh away the difficulty of breathing, opening Obstructions
Stimulants do help like.. asthema I think
Its good against Lipitude, Distillations, and cleareth the Sight
Not sure what Lipitude or Distillations are. Sometimes when I drink something with strong qi, I think my eyesight does get better shortly. On strong strong hits, sometimes I get slightly tunnel vision and the area in the center is very clear.
It stregtheneth the weakness of the Ventricle or Stomach, and causeth a good Appetite and Digestion
Yum Cha!!!!
It vanquisheth heavy Dreams, easeth the Brain, stregtheneth the Memory
mmmm caffeine
It overcometh superfluous Sleep, and prevents Sleepiness in general, a draught of the Infusion being taken, so that without trouble Whole Nights may be spent in study, without hurt to the Body, in that it moderately heateth and bindeth the mouth of the Stomach.
ditto caffeine
It cureth the Colds, Dropsies, and Scurvys, by a proper Infusion, purging the Blood by Sweat and Urine, and expellenth Infections
Sweat.. sounds like qi, and peeing is good for bladder/urinary infections.
MarshalN // August 8, 2009 at 9:55 am |
No, I added the cancer part in case that wasn’t clear.
But you get the drift — health claims are all there. We just added more EGCG and other terminology.
alrab70 // August 8, 2009 at 10:28 pm |
They forgot weightloss!!
weightloss detox tea lose 10 pounds in 10 days